I hate U

my name is Nadiah
my fight is not on the saddle of a black horse
my fight is not behind an armor and a shield
i declare a war upon myself

from the minute i utter
"No God but Allah The One"
i am prepared for all the struggle

everyday is a struggle to prioritize others before me
everyday is a struggle to preserve the honor of this deen
everyday is a struggle to object the urge to ruin the whole world
everyday is a struggle to preserve muslimah as a Glimmering Ruby
everyday is a struggle to educate myself self awareness
everyday is an advice to myself before others
everyday is a struggle to strive in being a truthful slave of Ar-Raheem

i'll work hard to die in this deen
and to wake up every morning like Umar R.A
when he said;
every morning i want to see my brothers and be with them
i cant wait to see them and give my love upon them
i want to be around them and fight with them

if im going to lose all my property for this deen and so it be
if im going to lose my sleep at nights for this deen and so it be
if im going to lose a second of my life for this deen and so it be
if im going against the world for this deen so it be...
NOTHING ELSE except this deen

SO DONT MESS WITH ME SHAITAN
u failed me today
BUT SCREW YOU ...
I'll die begging for His mercy and not to be with you

I HATE YOU
I SINCERELY HATE YOU
because of you we fight with each other
because of you we die in overtakin each another
because of you most of us forget who fed

who loved us
who cared for us
but Allahu Rabbi forgive me when i do wrong
Ighfirli Ya Rabb
how could i transgress upon You while u gave me this life
without wanting anything back except having more mercy showered upon me
no love is like Yours...
sorry for my mistake today...
i'll regret it all my life

to SHAITAN and MYSELF
you will not break me!

(From somewhere: As a rememberance to my own self)